WHY ARE WE RAPED AGAIN?

What exactly is a rape? It is essentially an act of force and violence perpetrated against a weak being who has no choice but to submit. It causes great trauma and changes the victim's behaviour, hopes, anxieties, responses, beliefs, suspicions, complexes, proclivities, and emotions forever.

The keyword above is 'weak'. The carnage and trauma caused by repeated rape of Indians, through acts of terrorism, doesn't fill us with resolve to never to allow such acts to be perpetrated against our people again. In contrast, each act of terrorism makes us weaker and impotent.


I think the reasons and the solutions (intrinsic with each reason) are multi fold: -

1. To start with there is a complete failure of our type of democracy that elects governments that not only do not protect the lives of their people (their primary responsibility) but are increasingly out of sync with the hopes and aspirations of people. I brought out the cause of the malaise in an article in this blog: 'How Proud Should We Be of Indian Republic at 62?'

2. Secondly, terrorist acts come under 'law and order', that is, a states subject. However, much of it is in the purview of the central government, especially when it is Pak sponsored. In case of Pakistan, as with most other things, we don't appear to have a clear policy except for one point agenda (given to us by the US) of somehow to continue with talks.

3. Thirdly, from a politico-military point of view, Pakistan appears to be exercising Deterrence against us (through irrationality and Nuclear Weapons Enabled Terrorism) but we have wilfully let go of our Deterrence despite our considerable superiority in conventional war means and potential. For a deterrence to work, we should be ready to demonstarte it sometimes (at least through signalling an intent); whereas, our national and military think-tanks routinely convey to Pakistan that we have lost the battle even before it begins. We are not averse to using our Army against our own people. But, against Pak, anyone who moots the idea is promptly labelled as a hawk (implying loony).

4. Fourthly, the primary security force here is Police. Over a period of time, Police has willy-nilly conveyed and demonstarted that they are there to discipline us through various ways (from bribes to lathi-charge). Protecting lives of citizens is not very high priority.

5. Fifthly, let us put the blame squarely on the media, which has not matured enough. The kind of coverage it gives of a terror incident is like playing into the hands of the terrorists. Did anyone see gruesome pics of terror victims in, say, London terror blasts? Our media's main focus of coverage is that. The terrorist causes half the panic. The other half is caused by the media.

6. Lastly, lets not forget all of us. When peace prevails, we resist any meausres by security agencies that would bring some order in our lives. For heavens sake, lets not forget that our people even oppose wearing of helmets on two-wheelers being "imposed" on them.

Therefore, when we get a statement from the PM, on visiting Mumbai, "I share Mumbaikars' pain and anger"; we know that what he means is that he has shared this many times in the past, and will share many times in the future too.

LIKE

Every innovation, new organisation or set-up comes with a new vocabulary that changes the way we look at things and respond. The Navy, for example, has a totally different lingo that the land-lubbers find quaint. 'Port', 'Starboard', 'Aye Aye' 'Bundleman' 'Son of the gun' etc are some of the words that have invaded our consciousness because of the Navy. When Internet was launched, we were exposed to a brand new lingo, which has become so common now that when we tell someone to 'google' something, we know that he/she would understand that we want him/her to look up all available information about the thing. Similarly, we use the words 'Cut and Paste' to denote an item that someone has plagiarised.

Together with the new lingo comes our interpretation and jokes about the same. Many years back, after India purchased the Swedish Howitzers from Bofor company and there were allegations of large scale kick-backs, the word 'Bofor' became synonymous with bribery and corruption. I took a cab in Delhi and started discussing the current politics with the cab driver. We were discussing the situation in Bihar. During the discussions the cab-driver told me, "Mujhe to iss mein kuchh bofor lagta hai." (I suspect some bofor in it)

A similar thing has happened in India with the words 'Scam', 'Adarsh', 'Incumbency', 'Plot', 'Loot', 'BHK' 'Budget', 'Bollywood' etc. Irrespective of the language being used, such words creep in the discussions and everyone understands their meaning and context.

One recent word made famous by 'Facebook' is 'Like'. Millions of people now 'Like' things - photos, comments, news, events, people, songs, videos more than they ever did in their lives. Let us say there is a news item that reads: 'India's national capital Delhi is the most unsafe for teen girls'. You don't want to record your comments; no, not as yet. So you press the 'Like' button mechanically. Now, if someone were to ask you if you really like teen girls being unsafe in Delhi, it would fill you with surprise. You look for various explanations to defend your 'reflex' action. "Oh, that? I pressed 'Like' to record my appreciation of the plight of these girls being 'finally' highlighted."

Now that the word 'Like' has become so commonplace, lets reflect on what all does it denote. Here are some translations:

• I truly appreciate the item.
• I don't have time to read it fully or record a comment.
• I couldn't care less one way or the other.
• 'Like' a hole in the head.
• I have read your comment.
• I am bookmarking this item to read at leisure.
• Stop it NOW or else.
• Okay, I have 'Liked' it, what now?
• Does it really matter?
• I am 'Liking' it but don't get me involved in it, for heavens sake.
• I expect you too to 'Like' when I put up something.
• There was no other choice and so I pressed 'Like'.

If you ever ask people to explain what they have 'Liked', my guess is that a considerable percentage of them wouldn't have even read the article or gone through the pictures or video. They would be like the boss asking the secretary to give him a list of people that he calls by their first-names.

Life has, therefore, becomes easier for all us who press 'Like' and get it over with. How nice and convenient it would be if Life would actually become like that? What all meanings we would be able to convey to people if we were to use the facebook 'Like' in real life? Here are some examples:

• We really 'Like' your visiting us on a sunday afternoon. (No, no, it is so boring to have our siesta on the only day of the week we can)
• I 'Like' the beautiful dress that you are wearing. (You picked it up from the roadside didn't you?)
• We 'Like' your children having got 95 percent marks in matriculation. (Doesn't look like they have any other interersts; in any case, these days the more you cheat, the more you get rewarded)
• We 'Like' the three hundred seventy eight pictures of your son's graduation ceremony. (Come to our house sometime and let us return the honour)
• We 'Like' your invitation for a lecture on 'Breeding Habits of the Common Fly'.
• You are ready to jail corrupt Indian politicians? We 'Like' it. (As long as they are from the opposition)
• Actress A, B, or C bares all? I 'Like' it. (In private, I can't tell you what would I do with her nude picture)
• India declares another holiday to commemorate another national leader? We (really) 'Like' it.
• Pakistan refused aid by US after yet another evidence of the former's involvement in terror plot? We 'Like' it. (However, very soon Pakis would find other means of siphoning aid)

One of my friends, on facebook, is the most 'Like able' guy. There is nothing that he hasn't 'Liked' from Priyanka Chopra to CBMs between India and Pakistan. There are times, however, when I actually want him to read or see something. Any suggestions how should I go about it?

ROGER AND US - A LOVE STORY WITHOUT AN END

Roger, our darling, would have been twelve today. On his birthday, my wife Lyn used to put a red ribbon around his neck. The day used to start with family prayers in front of Guru Granth Sahib and Roger would know when exactly the Prashad would be served. Feeding him Prashad on his birthday was the greatest joy we had ever experienced.

Today, as we said our prayers and distributed Prashad, we hoped in some manner Roger would get the whiff of it and taste it.

Dear Roger, now that you are with God, don't forget your family on this day that is so precious to us. I am sure you must be keeping them all busy in Heaven just looking at you, cuddling you, fussing you.

Happy Birthday, Roger. May God be with you always.

 Roger was not part of our life...he was our life. After his sudden demise, my elder son Arjun phoned me and said they had lost a brother. Roger, the sheer joy that you brought into our lives, right until your end at 1145 hrs Friday, the 13th May 11, will be everfresh since you touched our lives in a myriad happy ways. Arjun said that you would have never wanted to see us sad. We shall learn to get out of this mood at your sudden departure. We know, our darling, that you came into our lives simply to Love and Cherish. And both you and us have more love left to shower on one another when we meet next.

Until then, we shall remember, every little way of yours: how you made the whole family run to catch you when you were small. How you gave us a lick when overwhelming love came over you; how you shredded the pillow into bits thinking of it as a toy; how you ran out of the house when accidently you found the door ajar and we had to continue coaxing you with commnads of "get inside, Roger"; how you loved riding the car, Maruti Gypsy, bicycle...anything that moved; how you prepared to welcome guests coming home...how you sat facing the kitchen when mama was readying your meal..how you knew papa was coming home even when he was miles away...how you greeted us at the door everytime we returned from outside even when we were late...how you never wanted to be left alone...how you loved us...and how we loved you.

We have a whole new vovabulary because of you; a routine of the day we can't get out of...we shall miss moving our hands in your fur and giving a gentle squeeze to your ears...we shall miss taking you for walks and playing with you..and hugging you and holding you tight.

 Other day, a friend asked me, Roger, why do we miss our pets so much when they go? My prompt reply: Because, unlike our friends, relatives, sons and daughters, pets don't have any independent life. Their total life is with us and for us. A dog loves us more than he loves himself.

Thank you, Roger, for teaching us how to Love.

We shall never forget you, our baby.

Here are some of our memories of you, not in any particular order:

All set to receive Prashad

How you loved to be taken for a ride, Roger?!!

Always looking for cool places.

Scared of Diwali crackers and hiding



Always loved his bath

Not liking Papa being busy in Paranayam

Enjoying music in Arjun's room

Always being where the family is



"Enjoying" a movie with Arun

Despite all the toys.....

......Papa's slippers were the favourite toys.

And Our Dearest Roger, we shall always remember you as.....

Reaching for the stars...

Come any festival or occasion, you will somehow again get into the scene and the pictures...

 

When we enter the house, we shall know you are waiting for us at the door.....

Wait for us, Roger; we shall join you there one day and then we shall again be a loving family together; loving one another like you taught us to.



YOU CAN'T HELP LOVING THEM

Tomorrow would have been our Roger's twelfth birthday; and this one is just appropriate:

A man invites a friend for lunch. For the sake of clarity lets call them Rahul, the one who invites; and Suraj, the one who is invited. Rahul receives Suraj at the door and notices that Suraj has arrived with his dog. The dog looks a little slovenly to Rahul but as Suraj and his dog enter, Rahul reckons he has no choice but to entertain them both.

Rahul notices that initially the dog just sits at Suraj's feet. But, soon the dog becomes active and starts going through Rahul's house, along the way dropping many a thing and upsetting the whole house in general. Rahul finds it rather strange that the dog makes his way to the kitchen and finds food for himself and is merrily carrying such food all over the house. He even jumps on the sofa and makes himself totally at home.

Later, when they are having lunch, the dog jumps on one of the chairs and helps himself to some of the food on the table.

Rahul takes all this in his stride because he doesn't want to offend Suraj. However, he is really agitated when the dog upsets a side table and Rahul's precious parcelain vase is shattered to pieces. He also does his pooh over Rahul's carpet.

So, as he sees off Suraj and the dog after the lunch, Rahul finds it difficult to hide his anger at the dog misbehaving in his house and Suraj doing nothing to discipline or control him. At the door he tells Suraj rather acidly, "Bye, Suraj, it was nice having you over. But, perhaps next time you may consider visiting me without your dog."

Suraj responds, "My dog? My dog? And all this while I thought this was your dog."

SEE WHERE TACT CAN TAKE YOU

Hi folks, here is the second entry of mine in this section:

In the Navy, for the sailors, we have a Divisional system. That is, the ship's company (crew) is divided into small manageable Divisions that are generally named after parts of ship, for example, Foxle (this is how forecastle is pronounced) Division, Quarterdeck Division, Engine Room Division and so on. Each division is under a young Lieutenant called the Divisional Officer. The healthy Divisional system is the backbone of the Navy. Hence, tact, empathy, and other skills of the Divisional Officer are often what makes the difference between a spirited ship and the one that isn't.

One young Divisional Officer was proud of being blessed with such attributes as would keep his division happy as well as performing its task ably. Following conversation took place between him and a sailor who approached him for leave:

DO: You have asked for ten days leave again. Why do you go on leave so often?

Sailor: Sir, my wife is pregnant and there is no one to look after her.

DO: (Taking out from the table drawer an open  letter envelope) Ah, here I caught you A Singh; I received this letter from your wife only yesterday. She has complained about your going home, getting drunk, and not being of any assistance to her. Indeed, she says she is with her parents and can go through the total pregnancy with their help and has requested that you shouldn't be sent on leave. What do you have to say to this, A Singh?

Pic Courtesy: Popeye The Sailor: Volume Three

A Singh, all this while is crestfallen and does not know what to say. Finally, he says, "Thank you, Sir" and starts retreating. However, from the door he turns back and approaches the DO.

A Singh: Sir, before I go can I tell you something heart to heart?

DO (Savouring his not-so-small victory over A Singh): Go ahead, A Singh, and ask for any assistance you may require.

A Singh: No Sir, I don't require any assistance. I just wanted to tell you that all this while I thought of myself as an accomplished liar; but, you have beaten me hollow...you see, Sir...the truth is that I am not married.